What makes a personal connection?

dontknow1I am horrible at relationships. It doesn’t matter what type; romantic, family, friends, you name it! I have no idea how to keep the relationship happy and interesting. I’m easily amused and I’m very distant so I don’t expect much from any relationship, nor do I give much. As you can possibly guess, my nonchalant approach to relationships isn’t very effective but I don’t always realize when I’m not meeting the standards of a relationship.

I am a horrible listener. I can sit and look like I am listening for hours but I’m not actually paying attention. And then there is the part where I have to respond and what do I do then?! UGH! I have no idea what the conversation was even about! My fix to this problem is to dissect whatever I remember. I identify the main point of your spiel, say what I would do in that situation/a relatable anecdote, and give some cliche of hope, congratulations, or false intrigue. This has worked pretty well so far in life.

I am a horrible talker. I will share random stories that I won’t realize aren’t necessary until I have wasted time. My friends always say they have no idea who I am because I don’t have deep conversations about my feelings. I love to discuss and debate, doesn’t that count? I guess not. I have realized that most of the interactions I thought counted as one of these “deep conversations” are argumentative debates. Apparently, my debates don’t qualify as “deep conversations” since the only feelings I share are anger and frustration.

If I am connected to anyone, it would be my siblings because we have been through the same hardships and have identical senses of humor. (My brother is going to have a child soon and I pray that his baby will be as awesome as us.) What we have that I don’t have with other people is our communication. I guess what makes a personal connection is the communicative effort you put into the relationship. What do you find most important while forging a personal connection?

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