Fascination or Fixation?

I can’t pin point exactly where or when this fascination began but I certainly haven’t lost any interest in psychopaths.

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If I had to guess though, I’d say my criminal interests began as a fourth or fifth grader watching Law and Order SUV religiously. I could recite Miranda rights by sixth grade but this milestone wasn’t as impressive as I expected. So I started to try to solve cases before the detectives in the show by thinking like the criminals. (As a young, innocent child, that was pretty darn hard!) It was a new challenge that sparked my psychological analyzing.

Last year, I completely fell head over hills for a remorseless vigilante. Dexter didn’t kill murderers for justice, but to feed his intense violent desires. I loved being able to see his back story and how he got to this sociopathic state. When the final season introduced a neurologist – whom Dexter spoke freely around – I was like a kid in a candy shop with the information she was able to uncover. I didn’t know what to do with myself when I finished the series!

needed to find more material to satisfy my curiosity. What I found was Confessions of a Sociopath and it opened my eyes to the less violent but just as manipulative sociopaths in our daily lives. Statistics and studies helped me learn how to try to spot a sociopath, including the sociopath within myself.

Fairly recently, I stumbled upon my sister watching American Horror Story: Murder House. I only saw the last three episodes but fell in love with Tate Langdon, the resident psychopath. His crocodile tears, manipulation, obsessive behavior, and violent past made him easy to diagnose. When he had the “I’m a psychopath?” revelation in the season finale, I was pretty proud of myself for spotting it. To be honest, his definite title made me love him more.

Unlike the majority of the frightened population, I respect and envy sociopaths. They have the ability to see and approach any situation rationally, without a haze of emotion to cloud them. I would like to think I have a normal fascination with the remorseless but some days it does feel like an uncontrollable fixation. What do you think?

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